Your
living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude
you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind
looks at what happens. - Khalil
Gibran
Why this blog
Reflections on life and illness. Everything you come across when you get the diagnosis of incurable cancer. Because I find it hard to tell the same stories all the time especially when it’s not so good news. And I am not doing this alone, in a case like mine you take the people that stand close to you with you. But foremost because when you have read this, it makes it easier to talk on, have real conversations. And I can hear your stories! Cause I do realize I get a bit self imposed being ill. Just no room in my head sometimes. Sorry.
This blog works very well for my family, friends and myself, as therapy. I feel blessed to get a lot of nice feedback. It was just always only in Dutch so now I decided to make at least a summary in English, to keep you all posted as well. As I do appreciate your concerns and messages a lot too and like to keep in touch!
You are very welcome to leave a message here, it can be done anonymous now to make it easy, please leave your name though and I will moderate before publishing. Thank you!!
Summary
The day that changed my life instantly was Sept 11 2012 on Phuket. I was mainly living in Thailand and traveling a lot since more than 17 years. I had to go to the Netherlands immediately for treatment and finding out where this cancer came from.
I felt like I had a broken rib for months, but hardly possible since I had not fallen down or so. Than I got a light but persistent headache. I had to do a working trip to China and decided to do a check-up afterwards. But in China it got worse, half my tongue was paralyzed and I got difficulties with swallowing. My clients of the travel group said jokingly that I was a good tour leader, just a shame I slashed a bit with my tongue. Than there came a little worry so I had my first MRI scan in Guilin, China. There they told me I probably had a Tia and I had to leave my working trip and go to Thailand where I would stay in between for another trip and had another MRI in the Phuket Bangkok Hospital. There on the parking lot I read a paper, which said that I had a tumour in my head. I remember the exact moment, in my car, realizing that my life would never be the same again as I knew it up till now.
3 days later I was in the Netherlands. I started to have difficulties speaking as well and when I came in the hospital they took me in immediately for thorough check ups. They found out I had breast cancer with spreads in lymph’s, bones (yes in ribs too, one was broken, eaten by the tumor, so I was not making it up) liver and brain.
The one that bothered me the most is located on the right side of my head. It puts pressure on nerves which influence tongue and throat functions, and thus taste and voice.
I had to have a FEC chemo immediately. And it worked very well actually! I got my voice, swallowing and taste back. Quite fantastic actually and after the chemo I made it back to Thailand for a nice holiday with friends in Ao Yon for 6 weeks.
Spreaded breast cancer
When you have spreaded breast cancer you get what they call ‘palliative treatment’ this is to prolong your life in the best way but not to cure the cancer. It was too far for that already. I had never felt anything in my breast, even though I did regular checks myself cause I had friends already with breast cancer. I was basically too late with finding out. I probably had it for a few years already. Nowadays, in the Western world, 1 out of 3 people are diagnosed with cancer. In only 5% of the patients, the cancer has already spread when they are diagnosed.
There are several treatments possible in the regular medical circuit. Several different chemo’s, immune therapies and several hormone therapies. Radiation is usually for pain relief. For all these treatments you become immune after a while. What they do is closing of the feeding system to the tumors but after a while they find a new way to feed themselves. With all those treatments you could even in my case live for years more when they work.
The worst news came unfortunately in May of 2013. I don’t have Her2neu which means immunotherapy doesn’t work for me. But now it turned out also to not be hormonal anymore which leaves out a substantial amount of mellow treatments and leaves me with only chemo’s and radiation in regular medicine.
Why this blog
Reflections on life and illness. Everything you come across when you get the diagnosis of incurable cancer. Because I find it hard to tell the same stories all the time especially when it’s not so good news. And I am not doing this alone, in a case like mine you take the people that stand close to you with you. But foremost because when you have read this, it makes it easier to talk on, have real conversations. And I can hear your stories! Cause I do realize I get a bit self imposed being ill. Just no room in my head sometimes. Sorry.
This blog works very well for my family, friends and myself, as therapy. I feel blessed to get a lot of nice feedback. It was just always only in Dutch so now I decided to make at least a summary in English, to keep you all posted as well. As I do appreciate your concerns and messages a lot too and like to keep in touch!
You are very welcome to leave a message here, it can be done anonymous now to make it easy, please leave your name though and I will moderate before publishing. Thank you!!
Summary
The day that changed my life instantly was Sept 11 2012 on Phuket. I was mainly living in Thailand and traveling a lot since more than 17 years. I had to go to the Netherlands immediately for treatment and finding out where this cancer came from.
I felt like I had a broken rib for months, but hardly possible since I had not fallen down or so. Than I got a light but persistent headache. I had to do a working trip to China and decided to do a check-up afterwards. But in China it got worse, half my tongue was paralyzed and I got difficulties with swallowing. My clients of the travel group said jokingly that I was a good tour leader, just a shame I slashed a bit with my tongue. Than there came a little worry so I had my first MRI scan in Guilin, China. There they told me I probably had a Tia and I had to leave my working trip and go to Thailand where I would stay in between for another trip and had another MRI in the Phuket Bangkok Hospital. There on the parking lot I read a paper, which said that I had a tumour in my head. I remember the exact moment, in my car, realizing that my life would never be the same again as I knew it up till now.
3 days later I was in the Netherlands. I started to have difficulties speaking as well and when I came in the hospital they took me in immediately for thorough check ups. They found out I had breast cancer with spreads in lymph’s, bones (yes in ribs too, one was broken, eaten by the tumor, so I was not making it up) liver and brain.
The one that bothered me the most is located on the right side of my head. It puts pressure on nerves which influence tongue and throat functions, and thus taste and voice.
I had to have a FEC chemo immediately. And it worked very well actually! I got my voice, swallowing and taste back. Quite fantastic actually and after the chemo I made it back to Thailand for a nice holiday with friends in Ao Yon for 6 weeks.
Spreaded breast cancer
When you have spreaded breast cancer you get what they call ‘palliative treatment’ this is to prolong your life in the best way but not to cure the cancer. It was too far for that already. I had never felt anything in my breast, even though I did regular checks myself cause I had friends already with breast cancer. I was basically too late with finding out. I probably had it for a few years already. Nowadays, in the Western world, 1 out of 3 people are diagnosed with cancer. In only 5% of the patients, the cancer has already spread when they are diagnosed.
There are several treatments possible in the regular medical circuit. Several different chemo’s, immune therapies and several hormone therapies. Radiation is usually for pain relief. For all these treatments you become immune after a while. What they do is closing of the feeding system to the tumors but after a while they find a new way to feed themselves. With all those treatments you could even in my case live for years more when they work.
The worst news came unfortunately in May of 2013. I don’t have Her2neu which means immunotherapy doesn’t work for me. But now it turned out also to not be hormonal anymore which leaves out a substantial amount of mellow treatments and leaves me with only chemo’s and radiation in regular medicine.
My dream house in Ao Yon, Phuket, Thailand
Alternatives and flow
Than there is the whole jumble of alternatives. I read loads of books and sites on food and made the smoothies I always made already full of fruit and veggies even more (horrible) but with additions as kurkuma powder, garlic, wheat grass, chia seeds, goji fruits and all sorts of powerfoods. It made me feel strong through the chemo and kept me from even having a cold in spite of my lower immune system. You get all well meant tips from lots of people on what to eat and what not or this special treatment in China or Hawaii, it doesn’t make it easier but I feel now I know a lot about it can and make my own choices. Which is enjoying life as much as I can and eat healthy!
But this last diagnosis of non-hormonal cancer anymore, meant for me only chemo’s left. And chemo's are an attack on your body as a whole. Like teeth falling apart, much less energy, pains in joints etc. Not really what you want. At the other side I had 2 kinds of chemo now that really helped me again for months to have a better quality of life. First FEC 6x every 3 weeks with my hair falling out and than I had a chemo taking pills for 8 months that worked really well for me with hardly any side effects! It gave me the possibility to have a great summer in the Netherlands last year, sort out my house and things here and also the chance to go back to Thailand to sell my stuff, car and furniture and take my cat back to Amsterdam. I am really grateful for that, that I at least was able to do it all myself. I came in a great flow last December in Thailand and managed to arrange it all. It was hard to say goodbye, but with Mr. Ferbs, my cat, and such nice and lovely people to take over my things on Phuket I felt really blessed. I had the most beautiful new years eve on the beach with lovely people as my last night. On Jan 2 I arrived back in Amsterdam with Ferbs.
Ferby, my Siberian forest cat, found by a vet in Thailand, now with me blossoming in Amsterdam
Another
chemo and radiation
In January, back in the Netherlands, the chemo pills were not working anymore. I was loosing control of my voice, taste and swallowing again. At the same time I had a big resistance against more chemo. I wanted a break and try a natural cure. Maybe for some people strange but the real pure medicinal effects of Cannabis oil can treat cancer in several ways, there are people who get cured even, or the growing stops (for a while) or they feel better sleeping, it can help with pain and stress reducal etc. I tried a 3 month cure, with side effects not very easy cause you have to get used to it but I hoped it would be worth it. After 3 months I had new spreads in my pelvis bones. It seemed this cure did not work for me. Bugger!!!
In the meantime they gave me 10 radiations in the bone in my head where it presses on the nerves, I found it a bit scary as it can also harm the surrounding nerves… but it all went well and did make my taste, throat and voice functions much better again (although not completely, 3rd time now! Quite amazing isn't it?)
This was last March. From than on I had a pretty horrible time, lots of pain that I could not get controlled, very sick from the new chemo Carboplatin that made me puke gall and blood and 1 time a wait for 4 hours before an ambulance came. Some horrid stories that I will save you the details for now but that made me sort out things better and that has been very good and comforting lately. I am kind of studying medicine now to know how to keep myself from pain and sickness if needed.
Blessed
In a way I feel very blessed from the beginning. Very soon after I got the verdict I was so happy first of all it was breast cancer and not lung cancer for example cause than it would have been my own fault for smoking. This can be caused by anything. I believe myself it comes from modified food we’re eating, radiation we get in airplanes and from phones. Also drinking, smoking, sugar and stress never helps of course. But I have never been angry with my illness. I think everybody gets his or her share in life and it is just unlucky. The question ‘why me?’ never popped in my mind, cause that would be the same as ‘why not me?’ I think there are too many taboos in the world and everybody has something. We should share and understand each other more and not be ashamed thinking we are the only one. And, especially with cancer. Everybody is affected by it. If it is not yourself it is your mom, sister, husband or friend. Unfortunately.
Acceptance
Also immediately after the verdict I felt a real happiness about the choices that I had made in my life. That I followed my own path and did what I really wanted to do. Travel a lot, grow in self knowledge by meditation, yoga, writing and psychology. I never listened to all wise people telling me it was time to get married, save for my pension, have security in life and maybe children. Security in life does not exist. I chose the path of more resistance but had the chance to travel the world extensively for over 17 years, did and saw the most beautiful places, animals, nature, people and cultures. I was a diving instructor, tour manager for bands, event organizer, tour leader for groups in 32 countries working, traveled over 80 and lived on 6 islands in the Caribbean, Canary Islands and Asia. (yes, a litlle braggin' is allowed) Set up a business in Thailand and at the time I got ill I was working back as a tourleader for Fox, a Dutch travel company and developing myself as a photographer and found a niche in Regatta photography in Asia. www.rolienphotography.com
Phuket Race week
And best of all I lived my dream and found the house on the hill where the wind blows through, preferably at sea. My dream house in Ao Yon on Phuket that I loved. And this all with never going to the hospital in 44 years. Very blessed! And ok, too young to die, not ready, but not afraid either. I believe if you live your life to the fullest you are not afraid to die.
And for me the universal lessons from Buddhism I have learned mostly in Asia over the years through a Vippassana meditation retreat in Surrathani, Thailand and a 10 day Dharma teaching retreat by the Dalai Lama in 2006 in Dharamsala in North India, books and living traveling life make it easier as well to accept this all. Just the universal teachings like living in the moment, all is one, let go without attachment, meditation, the way Buddhists prepare for death as part of life, count your blessings, nothing is permanent, everything will pass, simple life, breath in, breath out... Universal values actually, which come back in all religions in one way or the other, even in science! Many things to be grateful for in my life!
Sometimes I have bad days as well though of course. Usually than I am afraid of suffering pain and how desperate you need to get and the road there before you want to die. Usually I can always find little lights again though and accept the way it is now and keep on enjoying many moments and beautiful friendships.
And I must say once I touched down in Amsterdam, had my apartment sorted out and arranged most needed help that by the way is very well organized for ill people in the Netherlands, I got much more rest there now too.
In January, back in the Netherlands, the chemo pills were not working anymore. I was loosing control of my voice, taste and swallowing again. At the same time I had a big resistance against more chemo. I wanted a break and try a natural cure. Maybe for some people strange but the real pure medicinal effects of Cannabis oil can treat cancer in several ways, there are people who get cured even, or the growing stops (for a while) or they feel better sleeping, it can help with pain and stress reducal etc. I tried a 3 month cure, with side effects not very easy cause you have to get used to it but I hoped it would be worth it. After 3 months I had new spreads in my pelvis bones. It seemed this cure did not work for me. Bugger!!!
In the meantime they gave me 10 radiations in the bone in my head where it presses on the nerves, I found it a bit scary as it can also harm the surrounding nerves… but it all went well and did make my taste, throat and voice functions much better again (although not completely, 3rd time now! Quite amazing isn't it?)
This was last March. From than on I had a pretty horrible time, lots of pain that I could not get controlled, very sick from the new chemo Carboplatin that made me puke gall and blood and 1 time a wait for 4 hours before an ambulance came. Some horrid stories that I will save you the details for now but that made me sort out things better and that has been very good and comforting lately. I am kind of studying medicine now to know how to keep myself from pain and sickness if needed.
'Regular' medicine study
Blessed
In a way I feel very blessed from the beginning. Very soon after I got the verdict I was so happy first of all it was breast cancer and not lung cancer for example cause than it would have been my own fault for smoking. This can be caused by anything. I believe myself it comes from modified food we’re eating, radiation we get in airplanes and from phones. Also drinking, smoking, sugar and stress never helps of course. But I have never been angry with my illness. I think everybody gets his or her share in life and it is just unlucky. The question ‘why me?’ never popped in my mind, cause that would be the same as ‘why not me?’ I think there are too many taboos in the world and everybody has something. We should share and understand each other more and not be ashamed thinking we are the only one. And, especially with cancer. Everybody is affected by it. If it is not yourself it is your mom, sister, husband or friend. Unfortunately.
Acceptance
Also immediately after the verdict I felt a real happiness about the choices that I had made in my life. That I followed my own path and did what I really wanted to do. Travel a lot, grow in self knowledge by meditation, yoga, writing and psychology. I never listened to all wise people telling me it was time to get married, save for my pension, have security in life and maybe children. Security in life does not exist. I chose the path of more resistance but had the chance to travel the world extensively for over 17 years, did and saw the most beautiful places, animals, nature, people and cultures. I was a diving instructor, tour manager for bands, event organizer, tour leader for groups in 32 countries working, traveled over 80 and lived on 6 islands in the Caribbean, Canary Islands and Asia. (yes, a litlle braggin' is allowed) Set up a business in Thailand and at the time I got ill I was working back as a tourleader for Fox, a Dutch travel company and developing myself as a photographer and found a niche in Regatta photography in Asia. www.rolienphotography.com
Phuket Race week
And best of all I lived my dream and found the house on the hill where the wind blows through, preferably at sea. My dream house in Ao Yon on Phuket that I loved. And this all with never going to the hospital in 44 years. Very blessed! And ok, too young to die, not ready, but not afraid either. I believe if you live your life to the fullest you are not afraid to die.
And for me the universal lessons from Buddhism I have learned mostly in Asia over the years through a Vippassana meditation retreat in Surrathani, Thailand and a 10 day Dharma teaching retreat by the Dalai Lama in 2006 in Dharamsala in North India, books and living traveling life make it easier as well to accept this all. Just the universal teachings like living in the moment, all is one, let go without attachment, meditation, the way Buddhists prepare for death as part of life, count your blessings, nothing is permanent, everything will pass, simple life, breath in, breath out... Universal values actually, which come back in all religions in one way or the other, even in science! Many things to be grateful for in my life!
Sometimes I have bad days as well though of course. Usually than I am afraid of suffering pain and how desperate you need to get and the road there before you want to die. Usually I can always find little lights again though and accept the way it is now and keep on enjoying many moments and beautiful friendships.
And I must say once I touched down in Amsterdam, had my apartment sorted out and arranged most needed help that by the way is very well organized for ill people in the Netherlands, I got much more rest there now too.
My little garden in Amsterdam
Feeling blessed also that I always kept my house in the Jordaan, quiet center in Amsterdam with little garden, I have always kept working for a Dutch company, paying taxes and keeping insurance in the Netherlands. I am on a small sickness benefit and get help with cleaning my house and home health care for medical assistance and a care ambulance drives me to the hospital when I cannot go by myself.
On the question I get asked quite often, how long they give me to live I and the doctors cannot answer. In between 2 seconds and 200 years I think. Like everyone else I think, you never know what happens in life. There are 2 chemo's left to try and several alternatives. That's it.In the Netherlands euthanasia is officially well organized with special scan doctors who have to determine that the suffering is unbearable. In my family it is a well-accepted issue that makes it easier. So I get asked by people and yes, I have things organized just in case it is needed. This gives me peace of mind.
Than my best friend, Claudia, lives in Sitges close to Barcelona, I do miss her around but I can always go stay with her in a very comfortable guestroom with sea view! Another blessing. And even close to my home in Amsterdam I have and made new friends that help me a lot when needed and are good and fun company. Really mainly feel blessed. Although now you might think ‘stop being a softie’
With Claudia in Sitges, close to Barcelona in Spain
Last
updates
June 8 2014
I started a new chemo Carboplatin about 4 weeks ago. A lot of things went wrong. I got a lot of pain from spreads in my backbone and pelvis. I got very sick from the chemo. They gave me radiation in my back and pelvis that made it first hurt more but is getting better now. I now have a permanent PICC or PIC line (a central catheter) in my arm to facilitate chemo and blood transfusions and the administration of medicines. I started to 'study medicine' to know about all prescriptions, pain and sickness stopping medicines. I take medicinal cannabis oil in small amounts to sleep, relax, for my immune system and against sickness and puking. I have to find the right doses (funny sometimes) but it seems to help and makes me having to take less pharmaceutical industry medicines. The chemo was postponed a few times which was quite stressing. But now, with full preparations it seems to work without making me very sick. I cannot move out of the house much and have to lay down a lot but when I do that consciously, I hardly have pain and I also manage to go out to the park or the beach for a few hours with extra painkillers. In the meantime enjoying beautiful spring and summer in Amsterdam and my little comfortable apartment and garden! And… if all goes better I still have a plan to make a road trip through Europe in my beloved flower Benzie with self-made curtains with friends seeing all friends in about 10 places all over Europe. That would just be great!! This is the plan. We'll see if I can really make it happen.
June 8 2014
I started a new chemo Carboplatin about 4 weeks ago. A lot of things went wrong. I got a lot of pain from spreads in my backbone and pelvis. I got very sick from the chemo. They gave me radiation in my back and pelvis that made it first hurt more but is getting better now. I now have a permanent PICC or PIC line (a central catheter) in my arm to facilitate chemo and blood transfusions and the administration of medicines. I started to 'study medicine' to know about all prescriptions, pain and sickness stopping medicines. I take medicinal cannabis oil in small amounts to sleep, relax, for my immune system and against sickness and puking. I have to find the right doses (funny sometimes) but it seems to help and makes me having to take less pharmaceutical industry medicines. The chemo was postponed a few times which was quite stressing. But now, with full preparations it seems to work without making me very sick. I cannot move out of the house much and have to lay down a lot but when I do that consciously, I hardly have pain and I also manage to go out to the park or the beach for a few hours with extra painkillers. In the meantime enjoying beautiful spring and summer in Amsterdam and my little comfortable apartment and garden! And… if all goes better I still have a plan to make a road trip through Europe in my beloved flower Benzie with self-made curtains with friends seeing all friends in about 10 places all over Europe. That would just be great!! This is the plan. We'll see if I can really make it happen.
But first I am looking forward to the World Championships soccer in Brazil. Holland's opening match is against Spain. The last time we played against Spain was during the final of the World Championships in South Africa in 2010 ! Hup Holland Hup! We're ready!
Enjoying summer, beach, Else, Sandra and Bailey at the now burned down Aloha beach club in Wijk aan zee
Thank you for taking the time and
effort to read this. Now you know what is going on in my life, it is
maybe easier to talk. I will continue to update the blog in English as
best as I can. Feel free to scroll through the
Dutch version for pictures and links.
Lots of love, Rolien
Tibet on the 'road' to Nepal
I will put some links here, but please remember every cancer is different, medicine and food work different on different people and also in the alternative world there is a lot of money making on cancer patients. My advice is to get the knowledge and follow your own path!
On cancer and foods
- Susan's Fuck Cancer Embrace life site
- www.cancer.org
- About wheatgrass
- Natural News
- On probiotics
- Natural cures
- A coconut a day keeps the doctor away!!
On Medicinal Cannabis oil: - The Rick Simpson Story, pioneer on Cannabis oil in Canada
- More Spanish study on Cannabis oil
Things that make me happy! - My favorite meditation app Headspace
- Beautiful images and music by Enaudi! http://vimeo.com/22439234
Friends that inspire by doing the things they do!! In random order
- Ellen's Wilderness and music project: Whalesinger
- Micha's Travel and house business in South-India www.savasanahome.com and India Rose tours
- David's beautiful bicycle trips through Asia Painted Roads
- Nathalie and P.'s beautiful Holiday home and Gite in France Domaine du moment
- Claudia's man, Adolfo Rua artistic painter in Sitges, Spain
- Jessy's travel business in Capetown Extraordinary Travel
- Maike and Javier on Curacao, wijnhandel and bed & breakfast
- Scott's, who is always supporting my Photography, devoted work for SEA Yachting magazine in Thailand that will soon have one of my 'images' on the cover again! :-)
- Nalidsa's (Thai) artwork from Penang in Malaysia and traveling with Kevin Yachting Photographer
- World music projects by Dutch pianist Mike del Ferro who tours the world constantly for ages already and always keeps in touch
- Annemiques completely self-made internet based Naturelle Magazine
- Franks'a fantastic sailing Siren fleet live-aboard divingtrips in Asia
- Graham B DJ producer/healing facilitator and on Mixcloud. He uses word twist Brahman G for his DJ-ing meditation and yoga sessions which I find very funny and you can find in Soundcloud!
- Kritchaya's Phuket Heritage Trails with some of my photos too
- Captain Marty's, The Admiral of Asian Yachting
- Cilla's Illustrations
- Michiel's work for the School of life Amsterdam where he teaches How to realize your potential
In Dutch (this will move to Dutch page one day)- Mohcine's Huismeester business in Amsterdam
- Corien's Graphic design
- Jose's Artist support and Music promotion Incrowd entertainment
- Linda's Stroom management that I used to work for as Tourmanager and Artist handler on events
- Marianne's Living Jukebox and very good Holistic massage
Live now, enjoy your life, we are all together (Rolien)
Tibet, don't remember when, many times (braggin' again:-)
Costa Rica '91
Jordan 2006
Cape town 2003 or 2004
With the 5 kids we have supported with the Bisnu Maya fund for over 10 years to go to school in NepalI am looking forward to get your feedback!
Dear Rolien thank you very much for this amazing and touching story, which I believe will help and incurrage many others like myself. In a way to cope with dramatical sicknesses aswell as to learn about early check ups when cure is still easy and mostly successful. Just recently they discovered skin cancer on my head and hands (tropical sun for 40 years) and recently several tests are made in Munich where I stay for some time. Rolien, in this nice weather we have around right now, I wish you enjoyment with your friends, you, as such an interesting and world traveled woman always will have around this long the gods are mercyful with you like with all of us. Love from benjo.
ReplyDeletekop khun krap... for your open mind. & your true words.. I send you lots of Love from here, AoYon is "Under Constructin", your house is still in our hands, looking for somebody to rent it..! Mom made a new bathroom... send you some pictures soon... Love&Peace
ReplyDeleteHi Rolien, just read your blog and appreciate your openness and honesty, its thought provoking and causes me to look at my own choices in life. Your gratitude and feeling blessed comes through very strong and that's good to read.
ReplyDeleteHi Rolien, your story is one that should be shared and I thank you for having such courage to not only share this others but your courage to approach your sickness the way you have.
ReplyDeleteIt is only open minded positive people who can possible endure, and hopefully conquer what adversities life throws at you.
I remember when you first told me about your cancer I was so adamant that the alternative way was the only way. This was without knowing what you were up against. The fact that I was not speaking from any personal experience, only what I had read and listened too was only really meant as a choice I would have made for myself and there lies the real crux of it all. You have to make informed decisions of what is best for you and you have. You are now wiser and probable much more experienced to make any comments on the benefits of alternative treatments for your type on cancer.
I wish you all the luck and all the strength to keep up your fight for the wonderful life you have experienced and hopefully you can return to one day. Miracles do happen....and you are one person who deserves a miracle.
Take care and may your travels keep a smile on your face where ever they may lead.
Wow, thanks for the great and loving words!!
ReplyDeleteJust the last comment, who is it from? If it is from Phil Bender I really appreciate it! In anyway I do!
Hi Rolien, I am sorry to hear all the pain you are going through and sorry I didn't realise you had cancer when you were here recently. I too have had my cancer return and things are getting a little painful now. I am going the natural route and hope that I am one of the lucky ones that make it through using this method.
ReplyDeleteWe are similar in where we have come and even the timeframe that we have had cancer is very similar, although you have a much worse problem on your hands and didn't even let on when I saw you at the yacht club. You are such a strong person for that and I wish that you can recover as, if someone deserves it, that would be you.
All the best and keep enjoying life.
Lots of love,
Kevin
Thanks Kevin! Didn't know you were going through this too, although in another way. What kind of natural treatment are you following? If you like to share... You may also tell me in private contact@rolienphotography.com
ReplyDeleteLieve Rolien. I had no idea what you have been going through - lately I started having a feeing that something was going on but I didn’t want to impose. Thank you for sharing your story…it’s touched my heart deeply and just like everyone else wish I could do something, anything! You are an inspiration.
ReplyDeleteI also just read your story ‘on the Dutch’ side and am happy to know that I was part of that 1 short year in Aruba just a 'few years' ago. Know that you always have a place to stay here, should you want to visit. And if I’m ever in Aruba you can come stay with me there too.
Een dikke kus & we’ll stay in touch,
Athenee
Lieve Rolien,
ReplyDeleteTo know someone has cancer and to know what someone is really going through are two different things. Thank you for sharing and making it easier to have a true and clearer understanding of someone's journey through this hell hole of a disease.
I wish you strength and the least pain possible, and I hope you will still get the opportunity to make that road trip!
Big hug, Annemiek
Sawasdee Rolien,
ReplyDeleteI enjoy reading your story a lots. It's sad to know your life had to go through that hard physical situation for years. But I'm very glad that you have lived your life well and still follow your dream and desire.
We all know we all have to go through "that day" and we all have to face with it.
I look forward to read more of your story Rolien. Cheers.
lieverd, krijg hier wel ff een klap met een hamer zeg als ik dat allemaal lees, wat onwijs sterk van je om dit op papier te zetten. ik wist altijd al dat je een sterke meid was en this shows. meid al het beste en hou me op de hoogte, ga zodra het kan lekker genieten van de tour in Europa en zodra ik in Amsterdam ben laat ik het je weten en hopenlijk kunnen we dan een bakkie doen. heeeel veel sterkte en een heele dikke kus
ReplyDeleteThank you all soo much for your kind comments!! I really feel even more blessed :-) having you all as friends. I only have to read this again to remember I am never alone, it really strengthens me. At the same time I do know that everybody goes in some way or the other through their own struggles and many have to deal with cancer in their family or among friends. I wish you all strength and the knowledge that you are not alone either. And I am still here for a listening ear, don't forget that!! All my love Rolien
ReplyDeleteHe Rolien wat staat het er mooi geschreven het engels het is voor mij bijna nog duidelijk dan in het Nederlands. En wat een hoop mooie reacties dikke tranen hier natuurlijk weer maar juist van trots dat jij dit allemaal doet. Je bent echt een super mens.
ReplyDeleteDikke kus Ymke